angelshavethephonebox: richard-sp8-jr: in first period a girl got dress coded for wearing a tank top with a jacket over it and this scrawny little boy stood up and yelled “OH MY GOD SHE HAS SKIN THE SKIN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME HER SHOULDERS ARE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS TOO MUCH” and the teacher got so annoyed with him that she didn’t get to dress coding her Yes. Good. You go, boy.
lynzave: geezjenner: lynzave: I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA COVERED IN ECTOPLASM AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once I was a C...
fuckies: I appreciate fine art and fine boys.
fumblrtabulous: THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE WANTS TO BAN HOMEWORK well this is it bonjour my petite crossaints
ju-ke: i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that
brvdleysoileau: how is “slut” even an insult wtf get that dick grl
mew-squared: In 2009, a man married a video game character In 2007, a woman married the Eiffel Tower In 2008, a man married a life-sized doll Also in 2009, a woman married a roller coaster And in 2005, a woman married a dolphin please explain to me why people still say that gays shouldnt be able to be married to preserve the sanctity of marraige
OH MY GOD SO IM ACTUALLY REALLY EXCITED FOR THE SUMMER FEST TOUR BECAUSE THE READY SET IS GOING TO BE THERE AND I HAVEN’T SEEN HIM SINCE THE GLAMOUR KILLS TOUR AND I STILL LOVE THE READY SET SO MUCH BECAUSE HIS MUSIC IS GREAT BUT I’M NOT REALLY APART OF THE FAN BASE BC REASON BUT OH MY GOOODDDD JORDAAAAANNNN BBY
arkhams: hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr
oohtheyhavenibbles: bonesbuckleup: So today I learned that Eucalyptus leaves have this chemical in them and when koalas eat the leaves the chemical makes them drunk but since koalas only eat Eucalyptus leaves they basically go through their entire lives perpetually smashed.
wvnderbar: that murder victim was totally asking for it, walking around with their vital organs all vulnerable
If I'm comfortable with you, I'll:
call you names tell you weird and personal details about myself say “I NEED TO PEE” instead of just brb type in caps a lot. If i’m extra comfortable with you I’ll do all that and: talk casually about porn and really perverted thoughts share funny photos from my tumblr dash actually tell you when i’m upset try to make conversation with you just generally act really silly when I’m in a...
happyfunballxd: 50shadesofsolkat: skrillidex: mom, dad, im roosterteeth the bible said adam and eve not adam and swiss fucking cheese
Dad spends school year waving at bus, embarrassing...
curious-andcuriouser: urethrafranklin: This guy is my hero.
leftforbed: leftforbed: mcsnuggie: true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn why would the movie eat my popcorn nevermind i get it
patrick-dempsey: i wish i had a six pack of chocolate bars
rnemes: “911 whats your emergeny” “hello 911 its really hot out and my pants are sticking to my butt”
ronaldreagay: started from the bottom and i’ve managed to get worse
Friend: You go to concerts on school nights?
Me: No it's more like I go to school on concert nights.
candycoateddoom: bitch-youdontknowmylife: Petition for Amanda Bynes to host SNL so she and Taran Killam can recreate Moody’s Point. Filed under: I Never Knew How Much I Wanted This Until Now
phanrocksmycrocs: the-whale-incident: there’s a hot orgy on my dash and u just got an invitation i juST SPAT OUT MY LUNGS AND CHOKED TO DEATH
lubricates: The sexual tension between me and no one.
pitbull looks like the naked mole rat from kim possible do you see it d o y o u
this-url-is-clever: lampsarenice: WARNING:...